Pocket Number-25: Eli Jenkins, Oxford Street

25-pockets-of-swansea-039 (2)Eli Jenkins is a venerable, music-free ‘spit and sawdust’ pub frequented for the bargain – cheaper than Wetherspoons – priced food it sells. After a few visits, I realized that it would be close to impossible to find a 6 foot tall blonde female at the pub itself and so decided to broaden my search to Swansea in general. I hoped that once found, the 6-foot woman could then be persuaded by me to return to Eli Jenkins.

I soon discovered that in Swansea’s demographic reality there are not as many 6′ blonde females as one may fantasize. To locate the woman matching Steve’s specifications involved countless hours patiently staking out Swansea’s central bus station and market, casting inconspicuous and discerning glances at the foreheads and heels of blonde women.

I approached dozens of tall blonde females who, standing at 5 foot 10 or 5 foot 11 (without heels), fell just short of my requirements. I also encountered a trollingly large number of 6+ foot tall brunettes and 6 foot tall former-blondes who had contaminated their hair with black or red hair dye.

After some weeks, my persistence was rewarded and I spotted a 6 foot tall specimen.

On hearing her say “yes” to my question of “Hi, are you 6 foot tall?”, I felt a measure of the excitement and achievement that birdwatchers and trainspotters must feel when chancing on an illusive and evasive quarry.

The woman pictured below is Vivian. Vivian works with Hallmark cards. After explaining about the project she kindly consented to going to the Eli Jenkins pub with me to sign the picture frame and then gave the montage a Tesco voucher and instructed for me to next approach someone in a Swan’s football jersey at the Liberty Stadium.

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